how affectionate you are for him;than for me

how saddening, you said i was at least a little brother to you but you treat me no more than a acquaintance now. but for him; unlike to me; you start conversations, you care for him, he's on your mind always unlike you were to me. these feelings i have inside, jealousy? its only love and hate at the same time, yes...? please get it out me i do not want to feel like this anymore it hurts, as you are only sitting a few steps away it feels like i am so far, it hurts to feel like this.

now reading...

" what does the bible really teach? " a book my good friend victoria gave me, along with a bible..greatest giftss
this book is really good...it gives me hope, i'm learning so much, and it makes me feel unashamed, and proud to be Christian. ah.. just going to keep reading..this book is just great

PTL

man youuu

i really love you so muchhh
more than a friend? sure
but i definitely value our friendship more than anything else, i.

lie to me

Why didn't I listen to my heart  

When she had me guessin from the start  

More and more I wonder, why do I still want her 

After all the love I gave to you  

All this pain and all because of you

What am I supposed to do when it's all a lie 

Where am I supposed to go when it's dark outside 

What am I supposed to do when it's all a lie

relieved !

why is it You, can cleanse all the bad feelings out of me in an instant?
how can i say this.. i found a relationship worth keeping, one that's worth progressing,
a relationship, with God. i have definitely found what was missing in me, cause You give
me only happiness and joy :)

SWAG

hey yo this a post that ain't got nothing to do with you !!

SWAGSWAGSWAGSWAGSWAG
SWAGSWAGSWAGSWAGSWAG
SWAGSWAGSWAGSWAGSWAG
SWAGSWAGSWAGSWAGSWAG
SWAGSWAGSWAGSWAGSWAG

yee BOI !! swag wall ^^;

i surrender all

i surrender all, i surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Saviourr, i surrender all

confrontation

ahh the day is coming soon, where i have to have a legit conversation with my parents about religion, about my beliefs and how i will change.. i've already gotten hints from some family members that they don't want me to go to church or anything of the sort, but i cant accept it that easily. this is a turning point in my life, and i know this is a change for the better, God has given me strength; something i've never truly had much of...
i know it myself, it's up to me, and i will do my best

what am i to you

i always wonder, what am i to you?
how important am i, who do you value more..who would you choose,
do you care for me as much as you care for him?
Where do i stand in your life?

i've always wondered..

who are your tweets directed towards?
especially THOSE tweets.. Hmm :l

i've missed this..so much

finally i mustered up the courage to talk to you, putting all my feelings aside.
at first, i was kind of nervous...and i had felt awkward talking to you after avoiding you for a while..even today, i was down because of the thought of us drifting apart, but tonights conversation, brings back a good feeling

a cure to sadness

-> listening to christian songs, worship songs !
it's so calming..and the feeling of surrender to Him, you just...cant help feeling it through your body
an amazing feeling indeed

no longer alone

nowadays...i never feel like i am alone anymore...these days, i realized that He is always by my side.. waking me up every morning, keeping me strong on two feet, how i noticed, He is my greatest supporter, for I haven't realized until now,  He, our Father in heaven is smiling down, and has always been giving me will power and strength.

how naive

i was more in love of the thought of being more than friends, blinded by the pros, couldn't see the cons.

ahh

i think i'm finally starting to get over you
these days i still think about you, but its no longer me imagining scenarios of me and you together, its me thinking of ways to make amends with ya and just be good friends again
soon, i hope to talk to you again...once im sure of myself, and muster up the courage to do so..

thank you...

its been a while, tears of joy. thank you Sharon for your wonderful advice and help
i cannot stop crying as of now, now playing this wonderful song, I Surrender All - Brian Littrell
i am SO so happy to have found God in my life, oh He has saved me from yet another crisis within myself, PTL.

changes

you came into my life, taught me my flaws and problems, you made me fall deeper and deeper in love, so deep, drowning in my feelings... you came into my life... and changed me...you changed my outlook on life, changed who I am, from head to toe, because of you I've changed. you've influenced me so much, from my actions, my feelings and even my beliefs...why, how does someone so small have the ability to do that..?

i seek

your attention... why have we drifted

its a cancer thing i guess..

i can't stand it when i am excluded...feel so left out and un important

...?

i feel so left out, i feel so non existent to you..
i feel like i've known you forever...
but what am i really to you...
it feels like i'm getting
smaller and smaller
less important
it hurts me
a lot..

WHATS WRONG WITH ME?

i cant bring myself to talk to you,but when i do talk to you i come off so rude, but i really don't mean anything bad...i just don't know what to talk to you about anymore...i feel like such a burden so i try not to talk to you..but i end up staring at your skype name...just waiting for a new message (1), but it never happens. its bad...i know but i've become so use to it, so attached you can say..but i dont want you to hate me, i dont want you to stop talkign to me, i dont want you to be burdened because of me...thats why i stopped talking to you...

Yours only.

i can only be at peace thinking of You, for you protect me from all bad. let me slowly devote my heart and soul to you, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, amen.

ah so thats what it is

im just slowly being replaced by him arent i
but hey, atleast i can say i saw it coming ?

it bothers me.

when we have a conversation, but than it completely dies and you spend no effort trying to keep it alive, but instead talk to someone else instead of me, it bothers me, especially cause its him...

you...

its kind of obvious and we both know it by now but..
its always me talking to you, never you talking to me,
but even when we talk, it's only me talking...you know?
it's always me talking, you replying, than the convo is dead until i bring something else up...it's hard for me sometimes without seeming too nosy or repetitive you know?
it really sucks when i'm the only one that wants to talk ..

failure in disguise

smile and laughs, style and class, under all this, is a failure in disguise

one sided

it's never mutual...i feel like i'm drifting from you..but i'm sure it's only me feeling this way..now that i think about it..its more like me pushing you away..avoiding you...i can't help it. i told you i'd get over  you. i'm doing my best.. i'm trying but its hard.. harder than i thought it'd be. sometimes i wonder, do you think about me too?
i feel like i'm such a small part of your life right now..like i dont matter, but to me, your such a impact in my life right now, the waves you sent to my heart without you knowing are still there

envious...

if i hadn't said anything from the start...if i hadn't fallen for you...
that's how we would be...isn't that true?
how i envy...that